Why Found Family Matters So Much To Me

I grew up with strong ties to my family.

I had an overwhelming amount of love for my extended family, and my parents and I were especially close.

I was lucky.

But, not everyone has that.

With My Mom

And, as I've aged, my own relations have drifted a bit due to time, distance, and other things.

When these drifts began to sneak into my family - I was heartbroken. I've always wanted strong relationships with my relatives, I loved nothing more than long phone calls, inside jokes, sleep overs - the works.

But I've come to realize, there is a difference between the family you are given, and the family you choose.

With My Dad

Sometimes...they are the same thing. For example, I have theater friends from my youth who are right out of a dream. They vacation together, go all out for family photo shoots, and literally coordinate dances and skits to help each other celebrate milestones.

They are #Goals.

But, time has taught me not every family is like this. Not everyone has a built in support system. Not all relatives love and appreciate you for the unique person you are.

That's where found family come in.

These are the people who choose you, time and again, simply for being you...and there is simply something so beautiful and reassuring about being actively chosen, day after day.

That's one of the reasons found family became such an important theme in The Peckers Series.

The Found Family of Peckers: Martha, Roxie, Sierra, & Jenny

When I sat down to write Jenny, Sierra, Roxie, and Martha, I wasn't just creating three friends. I was creating the kind of support system I think so many of us crave.

These women aren't perfect. They argue. They make mistakes. They occasionally drive one another absolutely insane.

But when life gets messy, they show up.

When someone has a dream, they cheer the loudest.

When someone falls, they help her back up.

When someone is hurting, they circle the wagons.

Their relationship isn't built on obligation....It's built on choice.

And maybe that's what makes found family so powerful.

Blood may connect us, but choice sustains us.

The people who choose to answer the phone. The people who remember your birthday. The people who celebrate your wins as if they were their own. The people who sit with you during heartbreak, disappointment, and uncertainty.

Those people become family, too.

As I've gotten older, I've realized that family isn't always defined by DNA. Sometimes it's the friend who has known you for twenty years. Sometimes it's the Beta Reader who becomes your biggest cheerleader. Sometimes it's the people you meet through a hobby, networking, a book club, or a shared passion.

Sometimes it's the people who simply look at you and say, "I see you. I like you exactly as you are. I'm not going anywhere."

And honestly?

That's one of the greatest gifts life can offer.

So if you're lucky enough to have both—a loving biological family and a beautiful found family—hold them close.

And if your found family is carrying more of the weight these days, that's okay too.

Love is love.

Support is support.

Family is family.

Whether you were born into it or built it yourself.

So Thankful For My Found Family!